Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Ramblings on Zambia


Hello fools,

Having published various musings on Malawi, my dear tour leader, Pol Pot, has assured me that if I fail to post something similar on Zambia, she will house a dead fish in my locker on the bus for the remaining three weeks of the trip. So I must issue a simila
r health warning, read on only if the only alternative activity is akin to watching Jeremy Kyle, eating a tramp's toenails, etc etc.

To spare any innocent and unsuspecting visitor to this page too
much pain, I will focus on Livingstone, home of the Victoria Falls and adrenaline capital of Africa. Victoria Falls in high water (when the greatest volume of water passes over the Falls) is surely one of the most magnificent sights on earth. The foam that it churns up when it meets the seething turmoil of the Zambezi below is best seen from the air, in a microlight plane (a golf buggy with wings). Nature at its most terrible and awe inspiring. David Livingstone (legend) put it best when he declared of the Falls, "It had never been seen before by European eyes, but scenes so lovely must surely have been gazed upon by angels in their flight." Sounds like a corny chat up line, but it so perfectly encapsulates the experience of witnessing the falls at full flow.

Having duly admired one of the seven natural wonders of the world, we embarked upon the serious business of casting ourselves into the gorge from a great height. The smell of fear and soiled pants was palpable as we defied every rational human instinct towa
rds the frothing Zambezi below and leaped 111 metres held only by a glorified elastic band around our feet. It is indescribably torturous when staring into the abyss, but the adrenaline high post-jump is well worth the sweaty palms, mind boggling terror and increased laundry bill.


Jacked up on adrenaline, we indulged in the "Sunset Cruise",
an all you can eat and drink boat ride along the Zambezi as the sun sets, which followed the predictable course of relative civility at the beginning, only to descend into a cacophony of shrieks and triple gins as the evening wore on. There is, however, something truly magical about the African skyline, which cannot be conveyed by word or photograph. Yet another stunning moment. Until said tour leader, Stalin, decided to start waterboarding her passengers.


Another highlight was the full colonial experience High Tea at the local five star hotel followed by cocktails on the veranda as the sun set over the Zambezi, the froth of the Falls visible on the horizon. Having been accustomed to being consistently filthy in appearance and savage in behaviour for the past six weeks, this experience made us feel almost human. We were, however, conspicuous as overlanders rather than the slightly more upmarket customer to which the hotel is accustomed. Starved of food by aforementioned tour leader, we were betrayed by the feral glint in our eyes as we scoured the lavish spread (the best I have ever witnessed) and the silence that reigned as we furiously devoured our loaded plates like ravenous swine at the trough. Sugar hangover, anyone?


Again, Livingstone and the Falls are an unforgettable experience - other activities include walking with rhinos, getting up close with lions, jet boating, helicopter rides over the Falls, etc etc. Africa is a continent that never ceases to amaze and inspire, and overlanding must surely be the best way to experience this incredible continent. It is certainly full-on, very physical, and as much a lifestyle as a holiday, but the one sentiment you are guaranteed never to feel is disappointment.

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